The Girl vs. The Cynic

I got this off John Reuben's album, "The Boy vs. The Cynic." The track is called "Chapter 1."

Let's just say, you can take off your rose-colored glasses for this one ... but it's reality:


The Boy Vs. The Cynic, Chapter one, page one.
I'll start from the top...
I'll embrace dreams again when I can breath again
And at that point I won't be needing them
It became clear to me that I was fighting a war I couldn't win
You don't make it on your own merit
Only royalty inherits the kingdom
And that's a system good intentions can't help
Your courage is not good here so don't try to excel
What a sad day when you realize nothing can change
The revolution didn't leave you it never came
There will be no parades, no royal balls
Just long days topped off with last calls for alcohol
Go to sleep wake up and repeat the same routine
Smooth skin dressed with wrinkles and brown eyes
With dark rings and entertainers sing of extremes that don't exist for you or me
When real life is reality TV no wonder our youth don't believe in anything
It's all a joke there are no heroes just those of us with high hopes
It's just not that simple
I'm not trying to save it all I just want to create a ripple
And even if one individual is affected it's monumental with an unusual perspective
That's beautiful in essence traditional thinking won't suggest this
Is life really that precious well yes it is
But there will be no celebrations or congratulations
No pat on the back just your mind intact
And the freedom to feel your heart beat at the speed of life
Go to sleep tonight knowing you did it right
And rest easy outside of a system that resents you for not doing what they expect you to do
Psychologically wear you down and then they make the suggestion that you get on a prescription to deal with your depression
Anxious lazy temperamental obese
That's what money makers like to call a disease
And they'll be looking for or creating new problems with profitable solutions
To solve them but you won't get any better you'll just come back for more
Until your medicine drawer is filled with unreliable cures
And that's the way of the beast
And I can't do nothing about it
I could shout it in a room that's crowded but I doubt it'd make a difference
So ignorance will be my disguise cause 21st century America likes its witchcraft civilized
21st century America likes its witchcraft civilized

Spoiled brats ...

This was an email that was sent to me. It was said to have been by Jay Leno, but regardless, it's still good stuff. It really puts things in perspective, given the condition of the country nowadays.

Response in a later blog ...

"As most of you know I am not a President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to hit the mark.

The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence 2/3 of the citizenry just isn't happy and want a change.

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What are we so unhappy about?'

A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days
a week?
B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer
and heating in the winter?
C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?
D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and
see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?
E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific
Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers
as we move through each state?
F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along
the way that can provide temporary shelter?
G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from
around the world is just not good enough either.
H.. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and
provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the
hospital.
I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.
J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a
group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch
equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your
belongings.
K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a
burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a
bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or
loss.
L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias
raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers
own cell phones and computers.
M.. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we
enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?

Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are.

The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a 'general' discharge, an 'other than honorable' discharge or, worst case scenario, a 'dishonorable' discharge after a few days in the brig.

Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it ... are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?

Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another.

Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way ... Insane!

Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.'

With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

Love and Dr. Seuss

I just need to remind myself of something, so I figured I need to write about it here.

I was flipping through the Bumper Stickers on Facebook (yeah, not exactly the place I would have thought I'd get some advice from), when I came upon this quote from Dr. Seuss.

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

It's so pretty.
Very idealistic. But still, pretty.

Torn between two lovers

My first love is calling me back.

No, I'm not talking about an ex, or a middle school crush. I'm talking about my REAL first love.

News.

Just when I thought I have finally moved on, it slowly beckons me to come back. Not that I'm not excited about the prospect of falling in love with it all over again.

The executive producer of a local news station that I interned with almost two years ago emailed me and asked if I was interested in a freelance associate producer position.

You should have seen me jump around my room.

Then I saw the dry erase board that hung on my wall. I stared at my list of choice grad schools that I finally had the motivation to compile.

My new love is on the other line, impatiently waiting for me to pick up.

Politics.

I went to the job interview. Walked down the halls that I still know so well, it felt like home again. Ahhhh, the comfort and the safety of something that I learned to love over so many years. The feeling that I thought I had gotten over after it failed to keep my interest after the summer ended.

But at the same time, I felt like I was cheating on my new love. I thought we had an understanding. A plan to move back to DC.

Maybe it was just a fling after all.

The news bug bit me way back in high school. But is the infection stronger than that of the Potomac fever I caught just this past summer?

The first has always been good to me. It's the safe route I took all the way through college. The opportunities that it has opened up for me have been amazing. The second is new and exciting. It's fiery and scandalous. It's something different.

I got the job, by the way. I couldn't be any happier. Or am I?

For now, I'll play them both. See where either will take me. And of course, I'll have to choose what's best for me.

Huge decision to make. Would choosing one mean losing the other forever? Should I risk the love of one to pursue the other?

This dilemma ALMOST makes dealing with men a walk in the park.

Two months, a whole lotta change

So it's been a couple of months since I last wrote. I'm still working the same ol' boring job, still living in same ol' boring Jacksonville. But things have definitely changed and I'm so excited about every little detail.

Can't exactly spill everything here, but one thing's for sure, I'm happy :)

But today I decided to actually be proactive, (haha, like I haven't been in the past few months) and start looking into grad school. I've always looked at American University as my first choice, but I've missed their merit scholarship deadline, so I thought I couldn't go to grad school until fall 2009.

Wrong.

Did a little bit more research and it turns out that the three other major universities in the Washington, DC area have programs that are similar, if not more targeted to what I want to do. My top choice now is Johns Hopkins University that offers an MA in Communication in Contemporary Society program. The best part: it doesn't require a GRE score.

SCORE!

I also looked into Florida schools and both Florida and Florida State have programs, but Florida offers a program that's specifically for Political Communication. (And I would much rather be a member of the Gator Nation anyway, haha).

So that's the most recent deal. You may very well be reading the thoughts of a future press secretary or campaign manager. Funny how those possibilities conjure up the same emotions I once felt about being a news anchor or reporter.

All these things brought to me by one summer spent in DC.

A change of heart?

For the past couple of months, I was worried that moving to a bigger city first (like DC) means having to give up being a reporter. Journalism was definitely my first love. But then again, your first love is not always the one that you'll love forever.

Should I dare say it? I don't think my heart is in reporting anymore.

I still love the news. And journalism. But actually being the reporter? Well, that's a different story. At least, that's what I'm thinking right now.

I think I'm starting to fall in love with something else.

Politics.

(Geez. Of all things?)

Well, political communication, at least. Like working for a press office, and work my way to being a press secretary.

Not actually being the politician, mind you. Just working for one.

I guess once you've caught Potomac Fever, you're infected for life. At least, for a while.

So I think I need to go to grad school for this one. And yes, I always knew I wanted to go to grad school, just didn't know for what. There's an answer for you.

And now the deadline for grad school applications for fall are quickly approaching. (American University is my first choice. More like my only choice.) And I haven't even taken the GRE yet. I think I might have to wait until the spring, or next fall.

What now until then?

Hmmm...lots to think about.

(Or maybe, my desire to go back to DC is what's propelling this change.)

I'm soooo lost.

A year in review, and a look ahead

I could hardly believe it's already 2008.

There's so much to look forward to. I have so many uncertainties about the future, but then life wouldn't be as interesting if anything was certain, would it?

2007 was a year of growing up. It was a year of change, of decision-making, of experiencing things that I've never done. And I'm confident in saying that 2007 was a year of no regrets.

As for the rest of the world, well, I can't exactly say the same thing:



So what's ahead in 2008? I feel that it's going to be a transition year. It's gonna be exciting and difficult, and tons of changes will be made along the way, but thank God for His constant love and unchanging grace that sustains me day in and day out.

For everyone else, well, there's the election to look forward to. This race is so exciting (well, for me at least) and I hope the right person will win the bid. But what's right for one is not necessarily right for another, but go figure, that's the excitement of politics for you.

Hmmm ... speaking of politics, that's definitely something that I would not have been excited about exactly a year ago. Oh, how much one year can change a person!