The art of patience and trust

The past 8 years of my life has been very well planned. It's all on Excel spreadsheets, they're all still saved on my computer -- what classes I'm supposed to take for each semester, the grades I get for each class, when I'm supposed to be doing what. I liked the structure. I liked knowing what I'm supposed to do next.

Then came graduation. Yeah, now I get to do this, and do that, move here, and work there. But instead, BOOM! The plans came and went.

I had fantastic plans for myself. They weren't get-rich-quick schemes, or anything that would require any compromise of integrity. They involved lots of hard work, ambition, and growing up. As sincere as my intentions were, they seem to have been either shut down or put to the backburner. And now I feel lost and stagnant at the same time.

I still don't have a clue about what God wants me to do with my life. I want to be obedient, but this whole waiting game is soooo frustrating, especially coming from a girl who likes to plan. (Thus the Excel files, the planner in the bag, the dry-erase board on the wall.)

There are so many things that I know will come in His perfect timing. An awesome career. An awesome husband. An awesome family. An awesome life.

But for now, He's asking me to wait. To stop looking for the things that I want and just keep looking up to Him instead. He maybe breaking me down to the point where I look to Him for everything - my strength, my comfort, my Abba.

Then, when I finally learn to do that, He'll give me the desires of my heart. Because He promises He has better plans than I could ever put together for myself. And He promised that Jesus came so that I could live life more abundantly.

Jeremiah 29:11 says: "'For I know that plans that I have for you,' says the Lord, 'thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.'"

I still cling to that promise. And God is so faithful, I know whatever it is He has planned, it will be amazing.

So, the bottomline is, I'm slowly learning to be patient and to trust God with all that I am. He knows me better anyway. So why the heck is it frustrating me still?

Psalm 130:5 -- "I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and my hope is in His word."

Stephen King and the news

I was browsing through the list of headlines that the Drudge Report has (it's how I can keep up nowadays, since I really haven't had the time to watch the news except for those rare times I happen to catch the tail end of the 4-hour long Today Show)...

*Alright, stop, rewind and edit.*

I was browsing through the list of headlines that the Drudge Report has and a headline called "Stephen King suggests Jenna Bush be waterboarded..." caught my attention. It's a Time.com interview by Jon Mahoney of the thriller author, Stephen King. I just thought King's musings about the state of the media nowadays were fascinating:

--

STEPHEN KING: So who's going to be TIME Person of the Year?

TIME: I really don't know, there's a very small group of people who make that decision.

I was thinking, I think it should be Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

Really?

Yeah. You know, I just filmed a segment for Nightline, about [the movie version of his novella] The Mist, and one of the things I said to them was, you know, "You guys are just covering — what do they call it — the scream of the peacock, and you're missing the whole fox hunt." Like waterboarding [or] where all the money went that we poured into Iraq. It just seems to disappear. And yet you get this coverage of who's gonna get custody of Britney's kids? Whether or not Lindsay drank at her twenty-first birthday party, and all this other s---. You know, this morning, the two big stories on CNN are Kanye West's mother, who died, apparently, after having some plastic surgery. The other big thing that's going on is whether or not this cop [Drew Peterson] killed his... wife. And meanwhile, you've got Pakistan in the midst of a real crisis, where these people have nuclear weapons that we helped them develop. You've got a guy in charge, who's basically declared himself the military strongman and is being supported by the Bush administration, whose raison d'etre for going into Iraq was to spread democracy in the world.
So you've got these things going on, which seem to me to be very substantive, that could affect all of us, and instead, you see a lot of this back-fence gossip. So I said something to the Nightline guy about waterboarding, and if the Bush administration didn't think it was torture, they ought to do some personal investigation. Someone in the Bush family should actually be waterboarded so they could report on it to George. I said, I didn't think he would do it, but I suggested Jenna be waterboarded and then she could talk about whether or not she thought it was torture. And then the guy from Nightline said, "Well, obviously you've not been watching World News Tonight with Charlie Gibson." But I do — I watch 'em all!

You might be one of the few people who does.
We're news junkies in my house.

Do you actually think Britney and Lindsay should be on our cover?
Yeah, I do.

Sort of a, 'This is what the media's actually interested it, so let's just put it out there' thing?
I think there ought to be some serious discussion by smart people, really smart people, about whether or not proliferation of things like The Smoking Gun and TMZ and YouTube and the whole celebrity culture is healthy. We've switched from a culture that was interested in manufacturing, economics, politics — trying to play a serious part in the world — to a culture that's really entertainment-based. I mean, I know people who can tell you who won the last four seasons on American Idol and they don't know who their f------ Representatives are.

But you've been well in the public eye for decades now. Is it pretty blatant how much worse it's gotten?
It's worse every year. And the guy says to me — the Nightline guy — I didn't get the guy's name. Granted, I haven't been feeling real well and it was a long day of interviews. But he said to me, "If we didn't cover cultural things, we wouldn't be covering you and The Mist, and promoting the movie." And I'm like, "Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan aren't cultural." They aren't political. They're economic only in the mildest sense of the word. In fact, if I had to pick somebody, some celebrity who has had some impact this year, some sort of echo in the larger American life, I would say Hannah Montana. That whole issue of online ticket sales and scalping fascinates me. There are [legitimate] issues there about the Internet, so that actually does seem to have some cultural significance. But Britney? Britney Spears is just trailer trash. That's all. I mean, I don't mean to be pejorative. But you observe her behavior for the past five years and you say, "Here's a lady who can't take care of her kids, she can't take care of herself, she has no retirement fund, everything that she gets runs right through her hands." And yet, you know and I know that if you go to those sites that tell you what the most blogged-about things on the Internet are, it's Britney, it's Lindsay. So I think it would be terrific [to have them as TIME Persons of the Year]. There would be such a scream from the American reading public, sure. But at the same time, it's time for somebody to discuss the difference between real news and fake news.

--

I didn't even read the rest of the story, but so true. Takes me back to the media theory days of "gatekeeping."

Interesting. The guy's brilliant and freaky.

(Pic from the Time.com story)


Thoughts later...

Thanksgiving overflow

Can hardly believe it's that time of the year again. Well, Florida "fall" weather makes it even harder to believe so.

That excuse to eat an exorbitant amount of food, spend tons of money and deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Ooooh...and the new Relient K Christmas album should be out soon too. But I digress.

The American holiday season is now becoming an exercise of excess. (Not that we don't already do that every other day of the year.)

1. Excess of food - bring on the pounds!
2. Excess of shopping - 4 am doorbusters!
3. Excess of decor - gigantic blow-up snowglobe!

Despite the commercialization of the holiday season, there's something about it that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. (Yeah, cheese grits, but true.) So many memories of holidays past come flooding in, reminding me of how good I've really got it. It reminds me of how blessed I've been through all these years. It reminds me to be THANKFUL for what I've got, instead of long for what I don't.

God has given me 22 wonderful years of health, happiness, love and grace. And as if that's not enough, he pours on the blessings. And then some.

Talk about an overflow? My cup runneth over.

Death by media crucifixion

I happened to catch the Today Show yesterday morning (a rare instance nowadays), and Matt Lauer interviewed a husband who is now considered a suspect in his third wife's death and his fourth wife's disappearance. If you're not familiar with the story, read up. Watch the interview here:


Exclusive: Peterson talks to TODAY

Then today, Lauer asked two "experts" to analyze the interview, scrutinizing the accused man's body language, manner of speech, and choice of words.

As a budding journalist, I mostly paid attention to the way Lauer asked his questions and his follow up questions. I respect him so much as a journalist. But his questions seemed to be the kind that lawyers ask during a trial. What was he trying to do? Try to force a confession out of Peterson and consider the revelation a worthy addition to Lauer's "best journalistic moments" retirement video montage? I watched as the man, Drew Peterson, answered Lauer's questions with indifference and nonchalance, a reaction that seemed to have convinced the "expert" this morning that he is indeed guilty.

The bottom line is, the media seemed to have made up their mind about the case before it is even tried in a court of law.

I love the Today Show. And Matt Lauer for that matter. And journalism is my true love. But I think this is an instance where the journalism gets in the way of justice.

Whatever happened to innocent before proven guilty? The right to a fair trial, anyone?

I am in no way defending this man. He could be guilty for all I know. (Remember Scott Peterson and his pregnant wife, Lacy?) But that's just it. I don't know. And neither does anybody else, until the case is put on trial.

The media's job is to tell the story as it is. And yes, some part of the job calls for interpretation and speculation. The job calls for asking questions about the current system.

But does that mean asking questions before the current system does?

Another part of it is that if this case has to be tried with a jury, some of the potential members of that group may have seen the interview, and might have been swayed by the way Lauer packaged the story. Although the jurors are asked to check their prior assumptions at the courtroom door, and to forget everything they have known about the case thus far, Lauer's interview may just alter the case, and a fair and just trial may have just been thrown out the window.

Just a thought.

Yet Another Dance RAWR Dance Blog Entry

Just because I ♥ these guys! I can't wait to see them on Friday!!! Aaaahhhh!!!





I have a feeling it's gonna be amazing!

At 22, the start of something new?

After 3 months of uncertainty (and counting), it's so weird to be back here in DC. It feels so much like home now. I know exactly where things are and I don't feel like such a lost puppy anymore, even though I'm walking downtown by myself. So sitting here on a bench in the National Mall, the Washington Monument to the left and Capitol Hill on the right, I have a feeling that this is where I ought to be.

Going back home to Jacksonville will be interesting (yet again). I love it here so much. Too bad my family and friends and home church has to be so far away. The job interviews went really well, I'm just hoping they would give me a call in the next couple of weeks.

DC looks so different in the fall than in the summer. For one, there are definitely less tourists around. It's a lot quieter. It's colder and the leaves are starting to change colors. I can't imagine what this place will look like when the Mall is covered in snow, or around the holidays. Maybe I'll get to find out soon enough. This visit was an awesome birthday present!

So, I'm officially 22 now. Wow, I'm getting older. I don't feel any different, just ready to start the next phase of my life. The independent phase. The moving on with my life phase. The growing up phase. I know that at some point, when bills come in the mail and things get kinda lonely and life isn't going as planned, I'll start wishing I was in college again, living at home, with no financial responsibilities, except for my monthly car payment. But right now, I'm ready. If God will open a door here, then I'll know that this is where I ought to be. For now, at least.

The remaining question is, am I ready to say hasta luego to reporting for now?

Another year older ... could DC play a big part?

I'm flying to DC in the morning for some interviews and I'm excited to be back in a city that I love once again.

Nervous? Yes. Second thoughts? Maybe.
But overall, excited.

And I'm turning 22 while I'm up there.

I can't help but think what kind of role the city will play in the 22nd year of life that God has blessed me to experience. Will it play a part in it at all?

I kept telling myself that I want to move back to DC. Be close to things that I love so much - media, politics, culture, diversity, nightlife. So why the second thoughts?

Well, there's something tugging at my heart, pulling me towards something that I've always wanted to push towards.
Being a reporter.
Something that I can't do in DC. At least not yet.

But hopefully, whatever it is that lies ahead, whatever glimpse that the next few days will show me about the future, I would find myself in obedience to what God wants me to do.

So here goes...wish me luck.

Pinay Pride - A Filipina's Beauty

What, you ask, makes a Filipino woman beautiful?
Well, here's a "Modern Pinay" answer:

"What is deemed beautiful has been a source of philosophical debate since pre-Socratic periods. Ever since humans discovered the pleasures from objects or situations that are perceived to be valuable and meaningful, he has had a glimpse of beauty.

So, what is this beauty and how does it affect the Filipina? The composer and critic Robert Schumann tries to answer the former with a term he coined Aesthetics. Aesthetics is a philosophical discipline that attempts to understand the nature of beauty. According to Schumann there are two kinds of beauty: natural and poetic beauty. In this framework, where does the Filipina fare? Is her beauty natural or is it poetic?


According to Schumann, both kinds of beauty can be found in music as in other art forms. The difference is that the former can be found in the contemplation of nature, in the technical structure of objects as the latter is in man’s creative intervention into nature. Natural beauty stops, at sensual delight, where poetic beauty begins. This being said, the natural beauty of the Filipina is in the bone structure of her face, the symmetry of her features, the proportion of her body, the prominence of her cheekbones, the youthful features, her slight built, her natural tan. All these traits contribute to her physical attractiveness, making her loved by cameras and sought by men.

But recent medical technology can imitate what was not present at birth. Anyone who can afford can go to a plastic surgeon for cheek implants and Botox injections. Anyone with the right money can get a liposuction and a fake tan. If these are the things that make Filipinas beautiful then she is no different from everyone else who can afford to pay to have them. It is in the character of the Filipina and her interaction with the world that makes her poetically beautiful. The Filipina is naturally adaptable and resourceful.

She survives any given climate or economic condition. Travel and you shall find, in every corner of the globe is a Filipina. Her sense of humour and her sunny personality slows down her ageing. She is not a Filipina if she does not smile in ten-minute intervals at most. She has the natural instinct to take care of those who need it. This is apparent in every medical institution across the world where a Filipina does not leave her ward without the arrival of her substitute. Her strong moral fibre and superior judgement makes of an exceptional leader. Her innate charm and quiet reserve enables her to take charge without stepping on men?s fragile egos.

She is every Filipino’s mother whom he runs to for support and advice. Her love for life and her laughter is infectious. She makes the atrocities of life bearable for those who surround her. The very existence of a Filipina in itself is poetry. It is textured by strange contradictions: a contrast between tenderness and strength, influence and subtlety, cruelty and virtue. It is this intrinsic trait that proves her beautiful beyond physical attraction. It is the kind that remains in human consciousness. It is the kind of beauty that makes legends, inspires songs. It is the kind of beauty that is remembered. It is the kind of beauty that can never be achieved by any cosmetic procedure. It is the kind of beauty that survives aging and even death.

Those who are merely preoccupied with the superficiality of physical attractiveness may be short-changed by their own narrow points of view, but regardless of the extent of anyone’s vocabulary or the depth of his definition of beauty, all can reach an agreement that the Filipina is indeed beautiful."

Oh yeah. :)

Dance Rawr Dance Party!

Ahhhh...Family Force 5 is coming to town in November! What an awesome birthday present...even if it was two weeks late.




November 15 @ Murray Hill Theater...
Wooo!! It's going to be amazing!! :)

Quoting Kelly Clarkson

I want out. Of Jacksonville.
If not, I have an inkling that I'll be stuck here.

In a state of stagnancy.

I want a life of my own.
Make my decisions. Make my mistakes.

To have no one to answer to but myself.
To have no one to depend on but God.

To break away.

"Wanting to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away."

Well, I'm still praying. And waiting.

Jacksonville will always be home.
But right now, I feel I should be somewhere else.
Anywhere but here.

Conflict in Iraq, conflict about Iraq

I was flipping through the channels, and decided there was nothing on and somehow ended up watching PBS. There was a show called NOW and I caught the last half hour of an episode about soldiers in Iraq. After Gen. David Petraeus' report, the President's address, and, well, Anderson Cooper's recent Iraq trip, I became interested.

Here's the episode on the PBS Web site.

The soldiers spoke about their job in Iraq and the life they left at home. They understood the sacrifice, and knew that death may be the end result. But still they fight, some on their third trip. The story reported that although the Army fell short of their monthly recruitment goal again, the numbers of those who re-enlist are still steady. It cited financial stability as a major incentive, and there's a $20,000 bonus for those who re-enlist, tax-free if serving abroad.

One quote was unforgettable. I don't remember it verbatim, but here's the gist of it: Every time you go, there's a slimmer chance of getting out alive.

So now, with all this talk about what to do and the apparent lack of exit strategy, what is left? Should we keep setting benchmarks? Should we make deadlines? Should we draw a line to our responsibility? Would pulling out of this messy war dishonor the soldiers who have already died fighting in it? Would pulling out send a message to our both our allies and enemies that we are weak?

Can we really wait until next summer to have 30,000 troops pulled out of Iraq?

Here's my stance:

Yes, we did begin this war (September 11 was not a trigger for the war in Iraq. If it is, then we are fighting the wrong war. Focus would definitely have to be shifted) and we have some sort of responsibility for the people of Iraq because of this. But where does responsibility cross the line?

We have no place in their civil war. America went through a civil war. And I think the country became stronger because of it. Because people themselves wanted the change.

We have already helped them to establish a democratic government. It is unstable right now, but how long should we be there to help them? If their people actually want democracy, they're gonna have to make it work. We can't force it on them. They've become so dependent on us, we're spending so much money on this war - money that could be spent on education and infrastructure. It all sounds so U.S.-centric. But the Iraqi government needs to start taking responsibility for their own people.

But there is also the other side. An unstable Iraq makes a vulnerable Iraq. According to Ambassador Samir Sumaidaie, the Iraqi ambassador to the U.S., a vulnerable Iraq means terrorists can take over the country, gain the political and economic strength that they need to come after us. He said during a press briefing back in June in Washington (which I had the privilege to cover) that winning in Iraq means to "deny the terrorists a state of their own" and to allow the new democratic state to "have the requirements for survival."

Both sides of the Senate aisle debated about this all summer (remember that all-nighter in July? Click the links to see my talking points from the after-debate press conferences from both sides...that was great fun). Republicans wanted to wait for the September report to decide (Democrats criticized this, saying Reps would much rather protect the President over protecting the troops). Democrats have already decided long before hearing Petraeus' report. (Republicans criticized this, saying Dems just wanted to advance their political agenda).

So as much as there is a conflict in Iraq, there is a conflict about Iraq. The unpopularity of this war is definitely growing, and Americans are becoming war weary. But is that enough reason to leave? Even more, is Congress listening to their constituents, or, wrapped up in winning more seats for their respective parties in the upcoming election?

Scrapbook, Justin Timberlake, Procrastination

What do they all have in common? They're all keeping me from my job search.
Welcome to my world.

I'm working on my Paris scrapbook (still) while watching Justin Timberlake's HBO special (I'm waiting for him to perform Summer Love). And that = Procrastination.

Life post-college hasn't really been all that exciting. I have resumes out all over the place, mostly in New York and Washington. But I will get started on putting together my 5-minute reporter demo reel tomorrow. Then send those out to at least 25 smaller market stations in the country. **crosses fingers**

But I think the worst part is not knowing where I'll be in the next few months or the next year. I may not have my "real world job" in the next couple of months, but will I be spending my 22nd birthday with my family? Will I be celebrating Thanksgiving with new friends instead? Will I be having my first white Christmas this year?

I can't make any long term plans. Except for that vacation to the Philippines this summer. (Which I'm SO very excited about...I get to see my grandma after 10 years!)

But I guess it is not up to me, is it? I don't know what God has planned, but there are definitely days when I get really impatient for an answer. I just want to know already!

Patience. Now that's something they don't teach in college. Unless of course you're growing cells in a biology lab.

But I want Samantha Brown's job!

Attention current college kids: graduating summa cum laude does not guarantee you a job straight after college. So enjoy college life, because you'll have the same diploma as that kid snoring in the back row, or even that kid who only shows up for the midterm and the final.

Not that I regret it or anything.

So, I'm starting on the post-college job hunt, and I think I have an idea of what I want to do. Yes, I still want to be a reporter. But at the same time, I don't want to end up in a podunk in the middle of nowhere reporting on cat fashion shows (see Anchorman). I love the news industry and want to work in it, but breaking in is tough.

Yeah, I know I've only been on the job search for the past two weeks and I can't expect a "real" job by tomorrow, but it's so tough finding a job that will start you off for the rest of your life. That sounds so serious. Almost too serious. For a recent college grad fresh off of a Washington extravaganza, at least.

So I've come to a conclusion. If I can't go after Meredith Vieira's job just yet, I'm going after Samantha Brown's.

Who is she, you ask? She's Travel Channel's main travel reporter. She was the host of "Great Hotels" and "Great Vacation Homes," recently finished "Passport to Europe" and now hosting "Passport to Latin America." All she gets to do throughout the show is smile, talk and TRAVEL! She eats the amazing food, sleeps in amazing hotel rooms, hangs out with amazing locals and tries all these amazing things.

I can smile, talk and travel. And eat, sleep and hang out too.
How did she come across this job anyway? Samantha, will you be passing the torch anytime soon???

Okay, so back to the job search. I sent out applications to networks, mostly in DC and NYC, to be a news assistant for major national networks. I'm trying to get a job through contacts as well, because unfortunately, as with many other industries, it's mostly about who you know, not what you know. (Which, of course, takes me back to my first point about the use of graduating with honors, but I digress.) I haven't sent out any demo tapes yet for a reporter job, but from what I was told up in DC, I need to send about 30 to 40 tapes. Maybe I need to get cracking on that task soon.

As for Samantha's job, the Travel Channel is not taking resumes right now. Trust me, I checked.

Hello, real world...

I graduated. Yay!

It's hard to believe that four years have come and gone. But what an amazing four years it has been!



And yes, those yellow cords mean summa cum laude, baby!!!
So yeah, peace out UNF!!!

If you want to know what's next, don't ask. At least not yet. Let me enjoy my moment for a little bit longer before the "real world" smacks me right on the forehead. Oh joy.

On brides and babies

I'm going to a friend's wedding this Saturday, and I still have to figure out what I'm going to wear.

She's my age and ready to settle down. Well, I'm not.

So many people who I went to high school or college with are either married or just had their first child. I can't even imagine myself doing either at this point in my life.

I'm 21! And so are they!

Yes, I feel a little bit of pressure. My cousins got married young and it's kinda almost expected in Filipino families. But I'm so focused on getting my career jumpstarted, I really could care less right now.

So my friends had their bridal showers and baby showers, and their wedding receptions and first birthdays ... and pictures are up on facebook.

I am happy for them. They found the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with early in life. Well, that's nice.

Subsequently, I'm kinda asking God to hold off on "him." Although "he" would be nice to be with now, not yet. I want my time to be alone - to be able to do things without asking for someone else's permission, without considering someone else's opinion. Allow me to figure out who I am, who I want to be first. It's only then that I can honestly say that I can give myself away completely to someone else, without losing grip of myself in the process.

Sounds selfish.

But if I don't do that now, I won't be able to do that later in life. I'll look back with regrets.

So this Saturday, when my friend is wearing her something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, I'll sit there and be genuinely happy for her. I'll be the one with the red heels on.

Home?

Can someone please FedEx my heart to Jacksonville? I think I left it in DC.

Home is a funny concept. Supposedly it is where your heart is. Right now, I still feel like I'm just visiting Jacksonville, and any day now, I'll be flying back to Washington. Yes, Jacksonville is where my family is, it's where my friends are, it's where my home church is.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be in Jacksonville. Back to familiar roads, familiar people and familiar activities. I get to drive my car and the beach is just a 20-minute drive from my front door.



But as I write this blog in my room, I am reminded of how much I miss being among the hustle and bustle of the journalist's life. I find myself checking National Journal's Daybook and checking the press conferences and committee hearings for tomorrow.

Home is standing in Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's office for a pen-and-pad session. It's running to the third floor of the Capitol Building to the Senate Studio for Sen. Mitch McConnell's news conference. It's running to the second floor of the Dirksen Senate Office building to be at the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing as the Attorney General's office is put to trial. It's bypassing the tourist lines with my press badge. It's going back to the studio at 229 1/2 Pennsylvania Avenue and cutting sound bytes and writing up talking points.

Then it's also being back in my Arlington apartment, with an awesome roommate, friends just down the hall or just two floors down, the Chinese takeout place just across the street, the mall just two blocks away, and the rest of the city a $2 train ride from the Ballston metro station.

Perhaps the only thing I don't miss is riding the metro.



So back to the concept of home, I feel that Jacksonville is a temporary stop. I've always felt that I was meant to do something outside this city, something bigger. I don't know where that is yet, but I'll get there.

Jacksonville maybe my hometown, but it's not where I have to stay.

DCA to ATL to JAX

Flight from Reagan to Hartsfield.
I made it home to Jax. Yay.
More about that tomorrow.


I need to readjust.

Charleston, baby!

So I'm back in Washington from an 8-hour ride from Charleston for the debate. And I have to say that the highlight of the entire trip wasn't getting to see the Presidential Candidates again, nor going back to the Spin Room and actually knowing what I'm doing.

It's the after party.

After spending much time in the spin room and being able to take some pictures with Rep. Dennis Kucinich, Howard Dean and Obama girl, we went to the post-debate party at a former bus terminal near the city's visitor center. There were lots of food, free drinks, pool tables and lots of press people to talk to.

I was telling my fellow interns how disappointed I was that I went all that way to watch one of my journalist heroes, Anderson Cooper, moderate the debate in one building, while the rest of the media camped out in the media filing center across the Citadel campus. As we rode the bus to the party, I thought, there was no way that Anderson Cooper would be in the party, because he would be swamped all night.

Well, I never said I predicted the future.

I was hovering over the dessert table when my friend and fellow intern, Candace looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Sheena, just breathe." She didn't have to say another word. She knew how much I wanted to meet Anderson Cooper, we've been talking about him all summer. All I could say was, "Shut up, shut up!" Oh, how articulate.

I handed her my drink so it wouldn't spill because my knees buckled. Of course, she couldn't hold the drink either because she was shaking as well. We weaved through the crowd until I saw that familiar head of silver and eyes of blue. I thought, "Oh crap, no way," as my mouth said, "Shut up."

My other fellow intern, Heather, spoke to him first and told him that I wanted to meet him. He looked to the girl standing next to me and said, "Hi Sheena, it's nice to meet you." Heather then told him that I was Sheena and he shook my hand. I told him how I admired his reporting and I read his book and loved it. And then, we took this picture:

Oh, happiness. That made an eight-hour ride worth all the while.

Tourists : a city's necessary evil

I love to travel. One of these days, I'd like to be a foreign correspondent and just travel everywhere. Or, just take Samantha Brown's job on the Travel Channel and get paid to go from one amazing city to another.

Whenever I go, I consider myself a traveler. The word "tourist" just irks me. It brings to mind those unfortunate souls with cameras hanging from their necks and fanny packs around their waists. Shudder.

It's tourist season in Washington and there are a lot of groups in their bright shirts, traveling in packs of 458, and being herded from one picture spot to another. Yes, they're the ones who forget to turn their flashes off when taking a picture of a Monet in the Art Gallery, the ones whose "Marco" wait for a "Polo" response on the steps of a memorial for one of our greatest Presidents, and, (I saved the best for last) the ones who stand on the left side of the escalator.

I was a tourist here once. And I still don't consider myself a local.

But I think that tourist destinations should conduct a "Welcome to (insert city name here) Tourist Information Session." An orientation. Make this tourist a traveler.

Before I arrived here in DC, I thought living in the middle of downtown Washington would be the best thing ever! You know, sit on the steps of the National Art Gallery and do work with my laptop, see the Washington Monument from my bedroom window all lit up for the night, walk from my apartment to any Smithsonian museum. So when I first found out that I was living in Arlington, VA, about 4 stops in the Metro out of the district, I was kinda disappointed.

Well, not anymore. I love the feel of my little Ballston neighborhood. I didn't even go anywhere near the Mall for Memorial Day weekend, much more the Fourth of July. I didn't want to deal with the tourists who have come to invade ... they're everywhere!!!

So far, my best defense has been my Capitol Press Badge. There was a long line to go through security from the Cannon House Building to the U.S. Capitol, and I was running to a press conference. I proceeded to the front of the line. The security person then said to the other security person, "Let her go. She's press" and motioned for me to go through. Oh the privilege a little piece of plastic can give...

But I guess tourists are important to the city's economy - they are necessary. A necessary evil.

So how about that orientation that I suggested earlier?

Just a little senseless rant. I feel much better now.

To Charleston for Anderson

So today I found out I'm going to Charleston, SC to help cover the Democratic Presidential Debates.

Yay!

It's moderated by CNN this time and they're partnering with YouTube.

Yay!

Same candidates that I've seen over and over again around Capitol Hill as the last debate at Howard University. Also, I'll probably hear about the same issues and the same promises they all have said before. Clinton, Obama, Edwards, Richardson, Dodd, Biden, Gravel and Kucinich.

Yay.

By the way, Anderson Cooper is the host.

OH YEAH!!!
I HEART ANDERSON COOPER!

I love my job!

Today I got to go to an event in the Capitol that has happened only 139 times in the country's 231-year history. Pretty impressive, huh?



Okay, in the center, that's Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, Dr. Norman Borlaug, President Bush and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

Dr. Borlaug was being awarded the Congressional Gold Medal for being the Father of the Green Revolution. He was credited to feeding 1 billion people. The Medal is the highest honor that Congress can bestow on anybody. The first person to receive the medal was George Washington in 1776.

And yes, I got to cover it this morning. Woo-hoo!

A different challenge

I think it's safe to say that television journalism is my first love.

It all started when a 9th grader was asked to read the morning announcements LIVE on closed-circuit TV for Mandarin High's Mustang News. The studio lights went on, the director counted down, the cameras rolled ... and she was head over heels in love.

That was almost eight years ago (hmmm...now I feel old). But this time, I know it takes a whole lot more than reading school events that were submitted in the announcement folder in the front office. It takes instinct to look for stories. It takes guts to go up to strangers and ask tough questions. It takes confidence to get in front of the camera and speak like you're an expert. It requires hard work, talent, dedication. And yes, it requires that you go into the field out of love for what you do, or the people your work will affect, because fame is not enough of an incentive and money is not an incentive at all.

So when people ask me why I'm currently doing a radio journalism internship as if I'm wasting my time, I give one of the following answers: I'm not in it for the pay, and it's a different challenge, it's good experience.

Here are the links to the packages that I have edited so far:
Live Earth
Clinton's Club 44

Some of my favorite quotes of the summer

The friendships that I have made over the summer are definitely to keep. TWC interns are some of the most fun and diverse people that I have ever met and I will miss them all when we finally leave this city. But the memories will go with me ... lots of really good memories ... and these are just some of my favorite quotes. No explanations necessary.

Here they are in no particular order:

1. About the Nationals mascot during a game...
Sanchelle: Look at that chicken.
Me: I think it's a bald eagle.
Sanchelle: That's the frumpiest eagle I've ever seen.

2. A Georgetown pick-up line for a med student with his shirt unbuttoned ...
Tiffany: I'm from Kentucky and girls from the South likes to unbutton shirts. So I'm gonna go ahead and button this up for you so I can unbutton it later.
Med Student (who will remain unnamed): I'm intrigued.

3.On weird names...
Jana: Prince became The Artist Formerly Known as Prince
Sarah: So what's his name?
Jana: The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.
Sarah: That's weird. Shouldn't it have some sort of a name in the beginning, like, John, the Artist Formerly Known as Prince.

4. On Mexican food...
Candace: I want some fajitas (pronounced fah-jay-tahs)

5. On being tired at work:
Me: Anything can sound dirty when you're tired. Like "Download Attachment" for example...

6. On answering the phone...
Jana: It's so hard for me to be nice to people.

7. On yourself and friends...
Sanchelle: I'm so sexy. I told you my friends are sexy.

Haha...I'm sure there are more to come...

My best political blog yet...

Today I attended a press conference with four Senate Democrats who are speaking to respond to President Bush's remarks on the newly released Iraq Report Card. While the President is using to justify the need to keep the troops in Iraq, the Democrats are using it to make the point that troops need to be redeployed out of Iraq. I watched the President's speech on CNN before I left for the press conference in the Senate Studio at the Capitol.

But I think this is the most detailed and by far the best I've written so far...
Click here to see it as a blog posted on our bureau Web site.

===========================================================

Senate Democrats called for a press conference in response to President Bush's speech on the progress and benchmark assessments in Iraq. They expressed their concern on the report that Al-Qaeda may have regained the strength it had in 2001. They also called on their Republican colleagues to join them in voting for a change in the course in Iraq.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) criticized the Bush Administration's claims that "good progress is being made" in the war in Iraq. He said that the American public has heard that statement repeatedly and that the time to change the course is now. He accused some Republicans of protecting the President over protecting the troops and, along with Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL), called on their conservative counterparts to vote on the legislation to redirect the course of the war.

The legislation is the Levin-Reid Amendment, which will be voted on by members of the Senate next week. Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) said that this legislation, unlike many that have been proposed before, has more than just an advisory and goal-setting agenda. He said that it will require a change of course in Iraq, take the troops away from fighting the ongoing civil war and will refocus the country on the war that it should be fighting in the first place - the war on terror, as opposed to the war in Iraq. Reid also added that it is time to "take the training wheels off" of Iraq and give the Iraqi people the responsibility over their own freedoms. In addition, Reid said that although the amendment does not completely remove all troops from Iraq, their numbers will not be equal to what it is now and they will not be in combat.

This legislation is being put forward despite of the President's earlier statement during his news conference that running a war through resolution is a recipe for failure. The President also said that Congress should not be running the war, but funding it instead. In response, Durbin said that the President is "out of touch" with both the war and the American public, and that the released benchmark assessment reports give him "little hope" for victory in the war.

Schumer continued to criticize the Bush Administration's war policies when he compared the President's remarks on the report of the renewed strength of Al-Qaeda to the President's now infamous claim of "weapons of mass destruction." Schumer said that the President and his supporters "ignore the facts" when the facts differ from their views and that the report is a reflection of "how wrong this war in Iraq is." Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA) said that the Democrats are united in a desire to change the course in Iraq and bring the troops home. But as for the Republicans who are vocal about increasingly isolating themselves from the President's Iraq war policies, Schumer called on them to support the Levin-Reid Amendment, challenging them to "put their money where their mouth is."

What happened to the Pinay in weeks two through five???

Hmmm...I thought I was going to be able to keep up with a blog during this whole time, but, yet again, I was proved wrong.

So much to do in so little time. Yes, I have ten weeks, but DC is way too amazing a place to live and work in to actually be able to experience everything in two and a half months.

But to say the least, what an amazing five weeks it has been, and I'm looking forward to the last five :)

I have been able to do so many things that so many other journalists around the country can't say they have done before their 22nd birthday, much more before they even started their careers.

News conferences with influential people: Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi on climate changes. Sen. Ted Kennedy and Sen. Mel Martinez on immigration reform. Sen. John Kerry on alternative fuel sources.

Senate Committee Hearings on Capitol Hill: Sen. Barack Obama on voter intimidation. Sen. Patrick Leahy on the firing of U.S. Attorneys. Sen. Bill Nelson on terrorist ideology.

Other events in politics: Sen. Hillary Clinton's launch of her Club 44 campaign. Take Back America Conference on progressive reform. The Democratic Presidential Debate at Howard and the Spin Room afterwards. The first open forum between the U.S. Senate Intelligence Committee and the Russian Duma Foreign Relations Committee. The Iraqi ambassador on What America needs to know about Iraq. Roll call at the Senate Floor on the motion to invoke cloture on the motion to proceed about comprehensive immigration reform.

All this and more with what is right now one of my cherished possessions: U.S. Capitol Press Badge.

I never really found politics interesting before I started this internship. I mean, I was a registered voter (not affiliated, and I'll keep it that way...at least for now), but politics was a topic that bored me to tears. Now I'm loving each and every time I am able to listen in on committee hearings and listen to what each senator/representative has to say, and then listen to what their plans are to change it. Contrary to popular belief, there are really many politicians who are genuinely trying to make a difference. Really!

And also, (can't believe this perception has changed in five weeks) I used to be a total stickler on what I consider to be news. Straightforward, objective, hellfire and brimstone. In light of the events of an heiress, her time behind bars and the attention that the media gave, I was honestly ready to pull my hair out. CNN, MSNBC and Fox all had the same story on the air when, on the same day, the fate of the immigration reform had yet to be determined, a Kansas girl was still missing, and the race for the Presidency was in full swing. (In other news, Sheena is officially a news junkie.)

But my professor (yes, I also have to take a class) cleared it out for me. One, that's news. If people aren't interested, there wouldn't be news. People happen to be interested in the life of a spoiled heiress, which make it news. But, aside from the celebrity, it also has something to say about our judicial system and the privileges it may give to people with money/power/fame. Two, news can never be truly objective because journalists are people. We have convictions and opinions and it will show through in the way we write. If journalists are truly here to affect change, then yes, we will write about subjects we are passionate about. In the tradition of the muckrakers, it's a journalists' job to question the status quo and you can't really do that if everything is as objective as a robot. Objectivity and fairness does not mean the same thing, because fair is what a journalist should really be.

So, that's the work part of my stay in Washington so far. Well, calling it "work" would be untrue, because it's way too much fun.

But, as always, all work and no play...well, you know the rest. But that's for another time.

Pinay in the City - Week One

A bientot, Jacksonville! Bonjour Washington!

Ten weeks in the nation's capital. Pretty amazing.
I've only been to DC once before and, quite honestly, it didn't really count. My family and I were driving home to Jacksonville from Newark after visiting family and we just kinda drove through downtown Washington. Just enough to take a peek and a pic of each of the monuments, then we were back driving down I-95 South.

About 7 years later, here I am, given an amazing opportunity to work and live in one of the most powerful decision-making cities in the free world. Not just to sit idly in some huge corporate office, but to actually be a part of what I believe helps to keep the United States a democratic nation - the free press.

Talk about a dream come true. Well, one in the making, at least.

So I've been here for a week, sitting in a great apartment in Arlington, just a couple of blocks from the Ballston-MU metro station and my gateway to the rest of the city. My roommate and I get along very well, and just when we are starting to get used to having the apartment to ourselves, we've got two other roommates coming in sometime today or tomorrow. I think we'll all get along just fine.

I work for a radio news service that provides Washington news to affiliates across the country. This week has been fairly quiet because Congress was in recess, but it gave me time to familiarize myself with the equipment and procedures in the office. So far I have been able to get an insider's tour of Capitol Hill, got my first ever press badge Thursday to go to the National Spelling Bee, and, the thing that I am most excited about so far, the first press conference that I was able to go to was held yesterday inside Capitol Hill by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi! She talked about her trip to Greenland and global warming. I was starting to nod off in the middle of the almost hour-long press conference and I thought to myself, What are you doing? That's the first woman to ever be the Speaker of the House! This is your first official press conference! Wake up! Yeah, as if my body actually listens to my head.

As far as tourism goes, I haven't really done much, considering how busy I've been. But I have been able to go see the typical things like the White House and the National Monument, the Treasury, the Library of Congress and the Supreme Court. I was also able to go to the National Zoo for a little bit, and got to see the pandas. Then there's the Museum of Natural History's awesome gem collection, which holds the gorgeous blue Hope Diamond and this diamond crown that Napoleon Bonaparte gave to Marie Louise.

Oh, and I got to do a little bit of shopping.

But of course, as with everything, there are some things that you just have to learn as you go along:
- When I first got a metro pass, I stuck a $10 bill into the machine and decided I only wanted $5 put into the card. Expecting I was getting a $5 bill back, the machine proceeded to dispense $5 worth of quarters.
- Never stand in the left side of the elevator if you just plan on riding the whole thing out. You get run over.
- Fruit is really heavy. So if you ever go to a lunch buffet where they charge by the pound and you decide to be healthy and get nothing but fruit, it will be expensive.
- Always have money wherever you go. Always have your metro pass wherever you go. Always have money in your metro pass wherever you go. If you don't, you'd better have your cell phone.
- Ramen and leftovers are amazing!

As much as I miss my family and friends in Jacksonville, and the fact that the beach is less than 30 minutes away (the closest beach from DC is about 3 hours away), I'm slowly warming up to the idea of living in a big city in my own apartment, taking the metro everyday and just enjoying everything it has to offer. I've met some great people who live in the same building as I do, at work, in class and in the program, and I've got so much to look forward to for the rest of my stay here.

I could get so used to this.

A matter of choice

Virginia Tech. How tragic.

Thirty-three lives lost. A nation in mourning.

But I think that's only half the tragedy. I'm not trying to undermine the deaths of those whose lives were brutally taken by about three gunshots each. There is much more to the story than that fatally dark Monday morning.

It was premeditated. Years of anger that turned to months of planning to hours of relentless shooting.

My question is this: how did it get so far that a guy would think that there is nothing to turn to? That no one really cared? That the world was out to get him? That he had to take action in behalf of the downtrodden? That he had to kill to get his point across?

It's the same thing with the Columbine High School massacre eight years ago. Two guys who felt invisible. Ignored. Isolated. Ridiculed.

We get so comfortable in our little groups, our little circles, our little cliques that we sometimes forget to reach out to others. Or maybe sometimes we get so caught up with fitting in that we try so hard even if it's at the expense of others. Even asking people, "How are you?" has become so much a part of small talk that asking so is simply an exercise in politeness - would we really sincerely care to stop and listen for a different answer than, "Oh, I'm good, thanks" ?

Here's an excerpt from a song called "Hero" by one of my favorite bands, Superchic[k]:

Little Mikey D was the one in class
Who every day got brutally harassed
This went on for years until he decided
That never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door
Grabbed the .44 out of his father's dresser drawer
And said, "I can't take life no more!"
And like that, life can be lost
But this ain't even about that
All of us just sat back and watched it happen
Thinkin', "It's not my responsibility
To solve a problem that isn't even about me."
This is our problem
This is just one of them daily scenarios
In which we choose to close our eyes
Instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice
To be the voice
For those who won't speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged?
Now it's our time to pick a side
So don't keep walking by, not wanting to intervene
'Cause you just wanna exist and never be seen
So let's wake up,
Change the world,
Our time is now...

As much as I want to put 100 percent of the blame on the suspect after what he did, I don't think that it was entirely his fault.
Yes, he schemed. Yes, he bought the guns. Yes, he pulled the trigger.
But behind the who, what, when, where and why that the news is telling us, there was a person who was hurting. Who thought that no one cared enough to take notice. Who thought that life was not worth living. Who planned to take as much people down with him.

Heroes are made when you make a choice...

A choice to reach out. A choice to speak out. A choice to intervene. A choice to include. A choice to notice. A choice to listen. A choice to be responsible. A choice to be accountable. A choice to be kind. A choice to reciprocate kindness. A choice to offer help. A choice to offer kind words. A choice to smile even when it's not returned. A choice not to expect anything in return. A choice to keep our eyes open. A choice to keep our arms open. A choice to keep our hearts open.

Hindsight is 20/20 and yes, he did choose to kill.
But the other half of the tragedy is that he felt no one chose to care.

This Saturday, a letter

Bells are ringing
But they don't toll for me
As they will for you
In three days time.
A red-letter Saturday.
She'll walk down the aisle
And take your hand
And promise a forever
That I couldn't provide.
Not yet.
Not you.
You and your
Matching tattoos,
Matching lifestyles.
It's been almost two years.
I thought I finally convinced myself
That God was only guarding my heart
And yours, too.
Now He's gently mending mine
As He's graciously filling yours.
I'm sure she'll make an excellent
Wife.
As I leave to pursue
Lifelong dreams somewhere,
You stay to lead the
Life that I knew you wanted -
A quiet life of riding concrete and water;
A safe life within Duval walls and shores;
A normal life I don't wish for myself.
I know you're happy
And you'll make her happy
And I'll be just fine.
I'm not jealous.
I'm not angry.
I'm not wishing things would have gone differently.
So tell me why
As Saturday approaches
My throat hurts
From holding back tears
But I horribly fail.
I won't pretend to understand.
But I hold to the truth
That God has a greater plan for me
And that my Saturday will come
Just waiting for true love to awaken, so
This is where I say
I wish you a lifetime of happiness,
This is where I say
Good luck on your life together,
This is where I say
Goodbye.

Some thoughts and things I truly believe

Low fat Oreo cookies and low fat rocky road ice cream don't make any sense.
If the shoe fits, get that and another pair in a different color.
Flipflops are meant to be worn year round.
Wearing heels is so worth the pain.
Every woman's closet should contain a little black dress.
There is no life away from the coast.
Everyone should visit Paris at least once.
Rock music is not the devil's heartbeat.
All princes start as frogs.
Imperfection is stress-free.
Duct tape can't fix everything.
Summer needs to last longer.
Sweet tea should be served anywhere in the world.
Cereal is only edible when it turns the milk into chocolate.
Laughing at yourself is an acceptable defense mechanism.
One can choose to keep the glass half full.
There's no shame in clipping coupons.
I can single-handedly keep Starbucks in business.
There's no point for hiring models at Abercrombie & Fitch.
Chivalry is not dead, it's merely indisposed.
Cream of chicken and wild rice soup should be served everyday at Panera's.
Downtown Jacksonville won't attract residents without a Publix.
Napoleon Dynamite is only funny when you watch it with other people.
The fall of man wasn't entirely Eve's fault.
Being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Party politics only serves parties, not people.
The media is supposedly the watchdog of the government, not its lapdog.
The government has no role in people's personal lives.
Celebrity lives are not newsworthy.
There is no reason for world hunger.
Life is more than just a succession of days that I happen to exist in.
Nothing is coincidental.
Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship.
Love is more than just a chemical reaction in the brain.
Man was purposefully created with love, not randomly formed by a big bang.
Success is not measured in owning material wealth, but finding your life's purpose.
Strength is not measured by the burdens I carry, but by the grace that sustains.
Only two things are eternal: God's Word and man's soul.