A matter of choice

Virginia Tech. How tragic.

Thirty-three lives lost. A nation in mourning.

But I think that's only half the tragedy. I'm not trying to undermine the deaths of those whose lives were brutally taken by about three gunshots each. There is much more to the story than that fatally dark Monday morning.

It was premeditated. Years of anger that turned to months of planning to hours of relentless shooting.

My question is this: how did it get so far that a guy would think that there is nothing to turn to? That no one really cared? That the world was out to get him? That he had to take action in behalf of the downtrodden? That he had to kill to get his point across?

It's the same thing with the Columbine High School massacre eight years ago. Two guys who felt invisible. Ignored. Isolated. Ridiculed.

We get so comfortable in our little groups, our little circles, our little cliques that we sometimes forget to reach out to others. Or maybe sometimes we get so caught up with fitting in that we try so hard even if it's at the expense of others. Even asking people, "How are you?" has become so much a part of small talk that asking so is simply an exercise in politeness - would we really sincerely care to stop and listen for a different answer than, "Oh, I'm good, thanks" ?

Here's an excerpt from a song called "Hero" by one of my favorite bands, Superchic[k]:

Little Mikey D was the one in class
Who every day got brutally harassed
This went on for years until he decided
That never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door
Grabbed the .44 out of his father's dresser drawer
And said, "I can't take life no more!"
And like that, life can be lost
But this ain't even about that
All of us just sat back and watched it happen
Thinkin', "It's not my responsibility
To solve a problem that isn't even about me."
This is our problem
This is just one of them daily scenarios
In which we choose to close our eyes
Instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice
To be the voice
For those who won't speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged?
Now it's our time to pick a side
So don't keep walking by, not wanting to intervene
'Cause you just wanna exist and never be seen
So let's wake up,
Change the world,
Our time is now...

As much as I want to put 100 percent of the blame on the suspect after what he did, I don't think that it was entirely his fault.
Yes, he schemed. Yes, he bought the guns. Yes, he pulled the trigger.
But behind the who, what, when, where and why that the news is telling us, there was a person who was hurting. Who thought that no one cared enough to take notice. Who thought that life was not worth living. Who planned to take as much people down with him.

Heroes are made when you make a choice...

A choice to reach out. A choice to speak out. A choice to intervene. A choice to include. A choice to notice. A choice to listen. A choice to be responsible. A choice to be accountable. A choice to be kind. A choice to reciprocate kindness. A choice to offer help. A choice to offer kind words. A choice to smile even when it's not returned. A choice not to expect anything in return. A choice to keep our eyes open. A choice to keep our arms open. A choice to keep our hearts open.

Hindsight is 20/20 and yes, he did choose to kill.
But the other half of the tragedy is that he felt no one chose to care.